Free falling-Free will
You’re standing on the edge of a cliff. Wind whips around you. The drop below is endless, a vast canyon, river racing below, clouds swirling around.. Your toes clenched over the rock. Heart racing. But, you've been here before, metaphorically speaking: that moment when life, faith, healing, a calling, or raw surrender asks you to move forward. But moving forward means letting go. It means stepping into the nothing; the things you can’t see or control.
And in that silence, the question spills out, half accusation, half plea:
“God, why don’t you just push me?”
I’ve whispered (okay, sometimes yelled) versions of that prayer more times than I care to count. Why the wait? Why am I frozen? Just shove me over already,get it over with.
But here’s the gentle, gut-punch reply that comes echoing back not in thunder, but in a quiet knowing:
“If I had pushed you, you would have screamed the whole way down:
‘I WASN’T READY!!!!!!! WHY DID YOU DO THAT??????’
Instead, God is patiently waiting at the bottom:
“I’ve been waiting for you to be ready to jump so I could catch you this whole time”
This flips everything.
Free will isn’t just the right to say “no.” It’s the terrifying, beautiful power to say “yes”. A forced leap isn’t faith; it’s begruddened obedience. A pushed fall strips away the very trust God wants with you. Love doesn’t drag. It invites. It woos. It waits, even when the waiting aches on both sides.
The title Free Falling Free Will captures the paradox perfectly:
Free will = your sovereign choice at the edge. No divine override. No puppet strings.
Free falling = what happens the instant you choose to jump. The stomach-lurch of release. The illusion of losing control that’s actually the fullest expression of freedom in faith.
It feels like plummeting into a void… until the catch!!!!! And there is always a catch, because the One waiting below doesn’t just break falls; He turns them into flights.
This isn’t abstract theology. It’s alive. Maybe for you it’s:
Finally forgiving when every fiber screams “they don’t deserve it.”
Stepping into vulnerability in relationships after years of walls.
Saying yes to the dream/podcast/ministry/calling that feels too big, too exposed.
Releasing control over outcomes you can’t fix.
Facing things of your past that have been holding you back or keeping you trapped in fight or flight trauma mode.
Whatever your cliff is, the invitation remains the same: Jump when you’re ready. Not a second before. But don’t mistake God’s patience for absence. He’s not pacing at the top, frustrated. He’s already at the bottom, arms open, eyes steady, lovingly waiting for you.
The fall may be scary, but it’s real freedom. No safety net of force. Just grace waiting to meet you mid-air.
So if you’re teetering right now, hear this:
You’re not being abandoned in the wait.
You’re being honored in it.
Take the step and be willing to fall; the catch was prepared, before you even made the climb.
